Scars
by Sakura's Pointe Shoes
Summary: James is plagued by nightmares from his torture in prison in North Korea. He calls Moneypenny out of sheer impulse and despite the late hour they decide to meet. Set during Die Another Day


**Title:** Scars

**Summary:** Nightmares of his time in prison in North Korea have prevented James from getting a good night's sleep. Out of sheer impulse, he calls Moneypenny in the middle of the night. Their conversation compels them to meet despite the late hour, and James begins to realize his feelings for the feisty secretary.

**Rating:** T

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Disclaimer: **I don't own James or Moneypenny, or their world. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

* * *

His pulse was still racing as he reached for his mobile. His shaking fingers flew over the buttons, as they seemed to dial her number by sheer impulse. Beads of sweat dripped down his forehead, and the moonlight made his damp skin shine in the darkness. One ring, then two. James only had to wait a few more seconds before she picked up. 

"Hello?" Her voice was a sweet reprieve from the constant silence in his flat. "Moneypenny? It's James..." He trailed off, clearly uncomfortable. He cursed inwardly at the shakiness of his voice.

"James--Good god, it's two o'clock in the morning! Is everything alright?" Only then did he catch the grogginess in her tone, any remnants of sleep being chased away as her brain struggled to keep up with the dialogue.

He pictured her, slumped over her kitchen table, probably going over some files or old reports that she insisted on taking home. She wore nothing but an oversized old t-shirt, and of course, no makeup on. Her copper-chestnut hair was tousled all over, it had grown longer since he'd been gone.

This image of her was very endearing, it warmed him to the core.

"Everything is...Yes, I would say so," He realized that his impromptu phone call had disturbed her, and that she normally didn't get very much sleep anyway. "Look, Penny, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called--"

She cut him off. "No, no, I was writing some memos that M wanted sent out by tomorrow. " She went quiet for a moment, and when she spoke again, her voice was gentle. "...The nightmares are back, aren't they?"

He was taken aback at her ability to pinpoint the cause of his distress. He really shouldn't have been surprised, she knew him so well and for so long. He replied affirmatively.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.

"I was in my cell again. On the floor of course," He added, as if it was a bitter afterthought. "They used the scorpions on me, but I'd gotten used to how it would sting..." He heard her breathe in sharply, a faint, distant sound.

"Oh, James..."

She must have known how much this affected him. She must've been able to tell that by calling her, that he trusted her above anyone else to comfort him, even if it wasn't face to face. His soul was bared even though much hadn't been said, and she knew if she made the wrong move, she might send him back into his personal hell.

Suddenly, he coughed, inexplicably afraid of what he would say to her, and of revealing too much of himself. The idea that she could penetrate his innermost defences was unsettling to say the least. "I have to go, I'm sorry," He muttered, but once again, she cut him off, more sharply this time.

"James!" She snapped, an uncharacteristic edge to her voice, "Really, it's fine. I'm actually at the Office right now, why don't I come 'round and keep you company for a while?"

She waited hesitantly. She was expecting to be turned down, as was tradition between them, to have him decline her offer and withdraw himself from the situation. Instead, he broke the record.

"Uh...Sure. My place is a bit shabby at the moment, I'll clean up and make some coffee."

She smiled morosely, staring at the Thames from her office window. "Okay. Speak to you later." She hung up, and he followed suit.

* * *

The drive to his flat was only about fifteen minutes, since the midnight traffic had diminished to a trickle. Moneypenny parked her Mini out front, and after collecting herself, she approached the front door.

* * *

"You look bloody good for two o'clock in the morning." James remarked as he let her in. He took notice of her black pencil skirt that was fitted to her slim hips, and also the way it accentuated her shapely bottom and legs. She looked very French with her hair up in one of those tousled yet somehow wearable buns, her bangs framing her face. She wore a chiffon lavender blouse, a nice contrast to her skirt. 

She didn't so much as blush at his remark, and he didn't scorn her for her nonchalance.

"So, I remember you mentioned coffee a few moments earlier," Moneypenny said, glancing at her surroundings, observant eyes taking in the messy living room. The pillows on the sofa were unfluffed, and there was a fire in the hearth, but it was dying.

"Ah, of course. Follow me into the kitchen, please excuse the mess." He waved his hand toward the living room. She grinned at his attire as they went into the kitchen and he got said coffee. He was sporting a gray shirt and some purple pyjama bottoms. Normally, she always saw him in a suit and tie. Moneypenny found that she liked him in pyjamas too, even better than in his usual suave get-up.

He poured a generous amount of the fragrant liquid then handed her the steaming mug. "Careful. It's hot." He warned. Smiling, she took the mug gracefully and blew over the surface to cool it down. After a few cautious sips, she allowed herself to enjoy a mouthful.

"Hmmm...french vanilla..." She murmured, eyes closed in delight. "Nobody quite makes it like you do."

James snorted. "Flattery will get you nowhere," He said, imitating something she told him a long time ago. Her response was a roll of her eyes.

"May I sit?" She ventured back to his living room, audaciously clearing space for herself on his armchair by the fireplace. He chuckled, sitting opposite her on his slouchy sofa.

They let a few moments pass, both content to enjoy the hazy yet comfortable lull. The dim firelight reflected off his face, she could see lines around his eyes and mouth. If he wasn't so solemn, those lines might have made him look very distinguished, but instead he looked exhausted.

"I can't believe Gail's getting married tomorrow," Moneypenny remarked offhandedly. She was referring to a girl who was the secretary of CNE (Chief of Northern Europe). They had both been invited, and if she hadn't said anything to remind him, he probably would have forgotten. "Speaking of that, is your tux ready?"

"Yes, it's in my closet." James said. "I can't believe 008 is finally settling down with her. They kept everyone in the dark about their relationship for so long, and now all of a sudden they're going to be married." Penny nodded, sipping some coffee. "I'm happy for Gail, she's a sweet girl. We'll miss her when she's gone."

"Do you remember my wedding day? When I tossed my hat at you?" James's voice was quiet when he brought up that long-lost memory. Moneypenny couldn't help a bittersweet smile at that. Of course she remembered, the tragedy of those times still prickled her heart. She remembered when James suffered not unlike how he suffered now; of his intense despair at his wife's death.

"How could I forget, James? It was such a beautiful day. Tracy was beautiful..." She saw the emotion in his eyes at the mention of her name. When he didn't respond, she began to wonder if the direction of the discussion worsened his state, but then he spoke.

"Yeah, yeah she was...So were you." Penny sighed at that, partially relieved that she didn't upset him, but it didn't stop the flow of remorse inside her. "You cried during the vows." He said slyly, trying to put her on the spot a little. She clucked at that. "I always cry at weddings, you know that. Just as I will tomorrow, you'll see." She hated the defensive quality to her voice. There was a beat of silence and then they both started cracking up. Their laughter was raucous and melodic, it put him at ease to see her so relaxed.

"Do you feel better now?" asked Moneypenny rather tentatively. James nodded wordlessly and fixed his gaze on something above her head.

"It's nice to have you here, Penny." That was all he cared to say at the moment. She paid no heed to his avoidance of her eyes. She merely got up and took his mug from him, bringing both of theirs to the kitchen sink. He heard her turn on the water, the soap container being squeezed and the sponge being rhythmically worked over the dirty mugs.

It was always something they could both fall back on; the domesticity of their relationship. It was as if they were joined in mind and spirit, she knew exactly how to read him, and he knew how to read her. Their bond was indescribable, one of unbreakable friendship and trust.

She came back into the room and sat beside him. She kept her eyes on the fire, the flames making her hair glow and appear the same color. James took her hand and rested it on his knee.

Neither questioned the motion, or even acknowledged it. They just enjoyed it, neither had the desire to make the situation complicated or awkward.

"So, shall I tuck you in?" She asked finally, turning her head ever so slightly. James chuckled, a grumbling through his chest, and he brought his other hand to cover their intertwined ones.

"Only if you want to." A hint of a teasing lilt was present in his voice. Moneypenny sighed with mock-weariness. "Right then, you have an eight o'clock with M tomorrow, and I've got a massive backlog of reports that need signing out before the morning." She checked her watch. "M would have my head if she knew I was the one responsible for being the cause of an over-caffeinated, extremely tired double 0 agent, and so will Gail if you end up falling asleep at the wedding tomorrow."

James didn't protest as she slowly stood and went to gather her coat and shoes. _'She must care for me very deeply,'_ He thought.

He chastised himself, trying to bury his feelings for her back where they came from. No longer could he deny that he did indeed care for her, more than anything. Moneypenny had been there through it all, she'd even saved his life in the field a couple of times. She was someone who could understand him, his work, and his dedication to it without complaint, because her own beliefs in those matters matched his.

She fastened the buttons on her coat and wrapped her scarf around her neck. Moneypenny moved toward the front door and he unlocked it for her.

"I'll see you tomorrow," She said in a husky tone.

"Mhmm. Until tomorrow." James smiled at her. He was undoubtedly caught by surprise when she moved closer into his personal space and planted a kiss on his unshaven cheek. Her lips lingered a little, smooth and gentle on his face.

Moneypenny didn't look back as she drove away, but both of them felt equally lighter than before.

The End (Although I plan to write sequels, FINALLY, a fic I can follow up on!)

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**A/N:** I removed my story "Holiday" because I think it's safe to say that the idea behind that fic is beyond my ability to write. I'll play around with it for a while, edit it and maybe even repost it one day, but until then I'm going to stick with the fics that I can actually write and update more easily without having to deal with really complicated plotlines or overly extended writer's block. Anyway, please leave a review if you want. 

**A/N #2:** The Moneypenny Diaries: Guardian Angel is an awesome book. It actually gives Moneypenny a first name (Jane, which I'll be using from now on) and a detailed backstory. I implore James/Moneypenny shippers to buy it online (if you live in the U.S. like me) or if you live in the U.K. you could probably pick it up at a local bookstore.


End file.
